broken compass

been awhile since my last post. i haven't been really busy, i just wasn't at home a lot :) another weekend has gone by, its been 2 weeks since my parents have gone home and i was good this week. no clubbing :) instead, i opted for retail therapy instead of booze *pats head

which leads me to the AWESOME movie that all of u have to watch!! i don't know if Malaysia is faster or slower than us, but if you haven't seen it, go see it! and if you have, watch it again! :) another movie that i can totally relate to.. the feeling of buying something new, the moment you receive the bag with your new clothes in it, and if you go to the mall as often as me, the excitement at seeing new clothes that have just come in :)
oh wait, i just realized i haven't mentioned the title of the movie, but from my blabs about shopping, you should pretty much know that im talking about CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC, only the awesome-est chick movie next to "he's just not that into you".

it's one of those chick flicks which will make you feel happy after the movie,not to mention shop,in this case. it has those fairy tale endings, which,i know is not realistic but wth right,it makes you happy :) the clothes were not as nice as those shown in the devil wears prada, but anything YSL or Gucci or Prada etc are always nice to look at..

anyways, back to the point of this post (ie: the title)..retail therapy aside, i've realized lately that i've reached this point in my life where i don't know what to do anymore. I have no clue why im doing chemical engineering when i don't even have the slightest interest in it, I don't know what to do..i don't know how to take the next step. im lost. or just a little, to make myself feel better. i just wish i was doing something that i like, to make me go to uni, to make me do my assignments with more effort. seriously, how do you work hard on something that you don't even like? especially when its not something easy. sigh

and one sad thing is, i can't seem to make up for the mistakes made. no matter what i say or do, i just can't make everything okay again. maybe a little more time is needed, but surely this is long enough?
sometimes i don't know who i am anymore, the judgement from other people, the things that have been said, the thoughts about me, everything. i feel like i'm someone else at a certain time, and me at other times. maybe i have a split personality, an alter ego (LOL.that's a bit scary to be honest)

and if you were observant enough, you'd have noticed the difference already in just this one post.
i am lost.